Where are the men? Just look around…

Doing research on South Africa in support of my wonderful husband, Klaus’ vision, I came across the following:

In the United States, women have led most efforts to prevent domestic violence, this despite men playing
a critical role in setting social norms for other men and thereby being in a unique position
to influence subsequent generations. They have researched men’s views, feelings and
experiences about gender based violence and while most had been affected by it in some way, men only
showed a real willingness to intervene when it came to communicating with children –
perhaps finding them less intimidating.

Although I consider myself lucky to be surrounded by men who genuinely care and want to contribute to a better society without violence, I sadly admit the above finding resonated with me on some level. Personally and professionally, I have experienced gender inequality too many times to count. At times I questioned it, only to have it exacerbated. Other times I learned to go with the flow, become one of the guys, and shove my own needs aside to move up the ladder. I understand why we needed a feminist movement. But I often wonder if we as women have kept the good guys out of the solution, shoving them against the wall with the rest of the men who sexualize, abuse and rape. Since I’ve decided to stand up for my own rights and not tolerate inequality, I’ve also come across many men who are the “good guys”.

Although our current focus is on South Africa, gender based violence also occurs in our civilized nation. Statistics have shown that 1 out of 4 women and 1 out of 6 men have experienced abuse in the U.S. Certainly this affects more than just women. I propose that we become humanists, and come together to change the old societal norms that are no longer working globally. Yes guys can cook, knit and wear pink, and girls can play soccer, ride motorcycles and wear their hair short. Perhaps we can teach our children that the world can really be a safe place.

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